How to spot stalking

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If you're unsure, think FOUR:

The four warning signs of stalking

Fixated
Obsessive
Unwanted
Repeated

It's stalking if the unwanted behaviour has happened more than once.

If you have concerns that you might be a victim of stalking, The Suzy Lamplugh Trust (which operates the National Stalking Helpline) has an assessment tool available online.

Am I Being Stalked? | Suzy Lamplugh Trust

This victim describes some of the tactics her ex-partner used to try and control her during their relationship and after their split. These behaviours might seem small or even harmless when isolated, but together when combined with being unwanted and repeated they demonstrate a pattern of stalking.

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Behaviours which you might notice include (but are not limited to)

Following, surveillance, spying
Standing, loitering around victim’s home, school, place of work etc.
Verbal abuse or public humiliation
Unsolicited mail, postcards, photographs, gifts from the endearing to the bizarre
Repeatedly texting / emailing / leaving voicemails
Planting spyware, viruses into victim’s computer
Hacking into victim’s computer, email, social media accounts
Spreading rumours, discrediting
Threats / violence against victim, victim’s family, friends or pets
Damage to property, stealing belongings
Physical violence, sexual assault, rape, murder
Attempting to take the children away, limit access by making false allegations or engaging in parental alienation
"Befriending" victim’s friends, family to get closer to them
Stealing and disturbing post / mail
Going through rubbish bins; leaving offensive material in the garden
Breaking into victim’s car, home or office
Interfering, damaging personal belongings
Threatening freedom by making false allegations to the police
Blackmail - Threatening to divulge information that would be harmful
Invading personal space by standing too close or brushing against victim
Ordering unwanted goods to be delivered
Seeking physical proximity by applying for jobs where victim work; joining same gym / church / professional / social / sports groups or clubs; moving into neighbourhood or building etc.
Leaving or sending threatening objects
Ordering goods in victim’s name and address
Identity theft - pretending to be victim
Running up debt in victim’s name
Cyber stalking and bullying - social networks, websites, online forums, online chat rooms, instant messaging